A FORMER NFL cheerleader has revealed the curler coaster experience of feelings and doubt that carrying her uniform put her by.
Hannah LeBeau mentioned that she felt well-known when she wore her New England Patriots uniform in an unique interview.
Hannah cheered for the NFL soccer staff beginning on the age of 20 between 2013 and 2017.
Since retiring, she has been very candid on her TikTok page in regards to the psychological and bodily struggles that she confronted, together with battling an consuming dysfunction and having excessive nervousness whereas cheering.
She additionally beforehand mentioned that she felt “Hannah Montana well-known” when she was working.
“Being within the uniform and being on the sphere, I constructed a good fan base who knew who I used to be,” Hannah additional defined to The U.S. Solar.
“There have been individuals who knew me within the uniform, however I assure that in the event that they noticed me on the road or within the grocery retailer, they might do not know who I used to be,” she added.
Hannah was paralleling herself to the TV character Hannah Montana, performed by Miley Cyrus, who lived a double life as a traditional teenager and as her alter ego, a global pop star.
And like how the character wore a bleach blonde wig to cowl her pure brunette hair, Hannah additionally dyed her hair platinum blonde when she cheered.
This sparked the cheerleader’s considerations over how she was perceived and who she might belief.
“The one time I felt like myself on that staff is after I was dancing,” she mentioned, including: “Every thing else – I didn’t know who I used to be. That’s the place the identity crisis got here in.”
“Do individuals solely like me for being within the uniform? Or am I of worth and worthy simply as Hannah, not as an NFL cheerleader?” she typically requested herself concerning her profession standing.
Hannah defined that when it got here to the purpose of retiring, she wanted to be taught who she was outdoors of being a cheerleader as a result of beforehand, she received “a lot validation within the uniform and on social media.”
“The toughest factor was making an attempt to determine if I had any value being a traditional individual,” she mentioned.
When she retired, she moved to Nashville and picked up totally different jobs whereas making an attempt to re-discover herself.
Hannah turned a residential counselor at an consuming dysfunction restoration facility whereas she was nonetheless battling and overcoming her personal dysfunction.
She additionally labored as a waitress and bartender, which helped her evolve.
“I went for all of the fallacious causes. I used to be simply operating away from every part I didn’t wish to face,” she acknowledged, however added that fortunately, she began to healthily achieve weight and began making new associates.
“I made a bunch of associates and so they didn’t know something about me,” she mentioned, relieved.
“I believe it was actually essential for my self-growth and self-awareness for me to appreciate I’m a human outdoors of the uniform and that I’m likeable,” she added.
Along with coming to the conclusion that she was worthy of affection and respect when she wasn’t carrying her cheer uniform, Hannah might additionally cease worrying about attracting faux associates.
Now that she feels extra like herself, Hannah added: “I don’t miss how I valued my self-worth off of that uniform and off of that staff.”
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